


It's Better If We Don't Call It Love

by jekisawrites



Series: The Ten Commandments of Fake Marriage [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jekisawrites/pseuds/jekisawrites
Summary: A history of Niall and Kit with backstories to events mentioned in chapters 5 and 6.
Relationships: Niall/OFC - Relationship
Series: The Ten Commandments of Fake Marriage [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891033
Kudos: 3





	It's Better If We Don't Call It Love

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/187862846@N02/50256109741/in/dateposted-public/)

Niall could remember two things from the day he met Anna Katherine. The first was the heat. In the movies, they show people bundled up during football games and homecoming. Niall could never understand where that idea came from, because there he was at his own university’s homecoming, tailgating before the game while he sweated like a damn pig. The second was how that night was the first night he wasn’t tormented by thoughts of Vivian. Instead his night became filled with Anna Katherine’s laughter, the way her smile always seemed to be a breath away, and the way his soul seemed to start breathing again after months of holding its breath. 

“Please don’t call me Anna Katherine.” The first time they hung out, they were both stood up by Jonah at the last minute. Instead of forgetting their plans, they both found themselves sitting in a corner booth at the coffee shop across from campus. She was drinking hot chocolate after claiming that she was naturally jittery enough, and if she had any more coffee, she’d be a jitterbug. “My mother is the only one who calls me that.” 

“Well if not your name, what do I call you?” He took a sip of his latte, and her eyes followed his movement. Even back then, he felt like he could read her mind, and in that moment, she was regretting not getting a coffee herself. 

“Jonah calls me Anna Kay.” She scrunched up her face when she took a sip of her drink, “My younger cousins call me Kitty, and some friends call me Anna.” 

“Anna is boring. How about Kit?” 

She smiled, “I like that.” 

The second time they hung out, they were in Jonah’s dorm room with the rest of their friends. They were all talking about what they were planning to do for Thanksgiving, a few of them making plans to fly back home, others going with friends.

Kit was beside him, practically leaning against him while she sipped on her wine that she had poured in an old, chipped mug. She nudged her foot against his, “What’re you doing?” 

He glanced at her, “Right now or in general?” 

“For Thanksgiving, you idiot.” 

He laughed, “Staying in the dorms. Probably catching up on some reading.” 

She scoffed, “That’s lame, but it’s also not what you’re doing.” 

“It’s not?” 

She shook her head, “You’re coming home with me.” 

It was that night when he realized that Kit got almost everything she wanted. Which meant, weeks later he found himself eating Thanksgiving lunch with the Tran family. 

It was another night where Jonah had bailed for one reason or another, and Kit had made herself at home in Niall and Harry’s dorm room. She had stolen his favorite pillow and her feet were propped in his lap. 

“Hey, Niall?” 

He hummed in response, trying and failing to concentrate on the passage he needed to read for his lecture tomorrow morning. 

“If we’re still friends when we’re old, I need to die first so that you can take my brain out.” 

He turned his head so he could stare at her, “Pardon?” 

She held up the book she was reading,  _ Stiff,  _ and went on, “I just read that once you die that your brain leaks out of your ears. Isn’t that disgusting? I can’t have that happen.” 

He nodded, “Right. Totally normal.” 

She smiled at him. 

“So is asking someone to take your brain out. Why aren’t you asking Nat or Jonah to do this for you?” 

“I have a feeling Nat is going to die from stress way before I’m ready to call it quits. Jonah and I just started dating. I’m not going to scare him off by asking him to remove my brain.” 

“And yet you’re willing to risk scaring me off, a guy you just met?” 

She rolled her eyes, “You’re quickly becoming one of my favorite people, Niall.” She had said this so easily, like it was the simplest thing in the world. “I have a feeling you’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.” 

It was hard for him not to smile the rest of the night. 

Niall didn’t have very many horrible days, but the day he had to tell Kit that he caught Jonah having sex with someone else was definitely one of his worst. For months, she had been getting ideas from pinterest and blogs for their wedding. If she wasn’t working on uni assignments or job hunting, her head was filled with images of her and Jonah’s wedding, honeymoon, and the future they had planned together. 

He was with her the day she found out Jonah was planning on moving to a different state after graduation, and he saw first hand what it looked like for her heart all the while she did her best to hide the broken pieces from the world. They never were good at hiding from each other. 

She came to him the next day, voice shaking but eyes determined and said, “I won’t be able to afford my apartment without Jonah.” 

It made all the sense in the world for him to say, “Move in with me.” 

No one thought twice about it, and her parents were surprisingly easy to convince. Jonah never said a word, and Niall had assumed it was because he was okay with it. He knew how close Niall and Kit were, knew that Kit was his best friend. He never imagined Jonah would ever have a problem with it. 

Then he found Jonah in bed with Rachel, the girl he was sort of but not really dating, and he never questioned the fact that he was never upset with her. Never really wondered why he only had pure rage for the man who claimed to love his best friend. 

“You can’t tell Kit.” 

Niall never viewed himself as a fighter, and he had never truly been tempted to punch someone. That day, Jonah tested both of those theories. He clenched his hand in a fist, “You can’t be serious.” 

“Niall,” Jonah’s eyes were wide and desperate, and the sight of it made Niall sick. “I love her.” 

“No,” he shook his head, “You don’t. If you did, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

Jonah’s eyes flashed, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“She’s my best friend!” He exploded, “I know she adores the ground you walk on, and if you felt the same way you wouldn’t only be asking me to keep this from her, but you wouldn’t have put yourself in this situation to begin with!” 

Jonah scoffed, “Best friend. Sure.” 

“I don’t know what your problem is but–” 

“My problem,” Jonah took a step towards him and gave his chest a shove, “Is that you jumped at the chance to live with my girlfriend.” 

Niall moved his hand away from him, “I only did that because you left her without a backup plan.”

Jonah’s jaw clenched. 

“You tell her, or I will. You might be okay with the idea of lying to someone you claim to love, but I’m not.” 

Niall ended up telling her hours later, and Kit wasn’t slow on calling Jonah out. Surprising the both of them, he didn’t deny any of it, and when Kit cried and yelled and screamed and told him to get out, he did. And he never once called or came back. Never once tried to make amends. Niall knew that hurt her just as much as any betrayal. 

And so, Niall and Kit continued to live together. Niall was there for every step of her heartache. He was with her eating pints of ice cream and drinking cheap wine bought at the grocery store down the street. He was with her to watch rom-coms on repeat and to listen to the most depressing love songs to ever exist. He was there to take her phone when she was tempted to give Jonah a call, and he was there for her to yell and scream at when the heartbreak was too much for her to keep inside. 

He was there for her when she came home and dropped a bottle of Fireball in his lap saying, “We’re getting drunk tonight.” 

“Do you even like Fireball?” 

She ignored his question in favor of walking to the kitchen to get them two cups. When she came back, she held the two cups in front of him expectantly. With a sigh, he twisted off the cap and poured them both half full. 

She glanced inside the cups, “More.” 

“Kit…” 

“Niall, more.” 

He stared at her for a moment before pouring more in each cup until the auburn liquid nearly reached the rims of the cups. She turned on her favorite show. 

“Every time Damon is a dick, we have to take a sip.” 

Their cups were empty before the end of the episode. Somehow, after that first episode, they found their way to Kit’s room. The cups were long forgotten, and as they layed in bed, they passed the bottle of Fireball back and forth. 

Niall wasn’t sure what was reality and what was a dream when Kit layed on top of him and began playing with the ends of his hair. After a moment she asked, “Niall, do you think I’m beautiful?” 

He had to clear his throat before he could answer, “You know I do.” 

That made a ghost of a smile appear. “Am I annoying?” 

“Only when you want to be.” 

“Am I too much?” 

He saw the tears she was holding back then, and his heart ached for her. “Never.” 

“Then why does Jonah not want me?” 

His hand went up to cup her face, and she leaned into his touch. When he tried to pull away, she held it there with her hand and turned just enough so she could press a kiss against his palm. He stared at her in wonder while she closed her eyes. She opened them, locking her eyes with his, and Niall didn’t breathe again until she began leaning towards him. 

His heart was hammering against his chest when she finally kissed him.

He knew it was a mistake to be kissing his best friend and roommate like this, knew they both only had the courage to do this because of the liquor rushing through their veins. He knew she was only needing this because of Jonah, knew that she was using him to grieve, and yet, there he was willing to give all he could to this girl. 

Niall didn’t come to his senses until she was underneath him in only her bra and underwear and his shirt tossed forgotten on her floor. 

She was beautiful, and Niall thought that if he could ever kill anyone, it would be Jonah for breaking her. 

“Kit,” He pulled away from her, “We need to stop.”

She pouted when he pulled further away, “No, we don’t.”

“You’re drunk,” He pointed out. 

“So are you.” 

He couldn’t help but smile at that, “Yeah, which is why we need to stop.” 

She surprised him when she didn’t argue further as he climbed off her and went searching for his shirt. He felt her eyes on him as he pulled on his shirt, and he ignored the look of rejection on her face when he walked back to her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Go to bed, Kit. Rest. I’ll make you pancakes in the morning.” 

He didn’t know if she did as he said, but the next morning she shuffled into the kitchen and gave him a shy smile when she noticed the pancakes. 

It was months before she started becoming herself again, and the first time he heard her laugh since the day of the breakup, his heart soared even in the midst of his own crisis and what he was pretty sure was his own personal hell. 

Job hunting wasn’t what he imagined it would be. College hadn’t prepared him for the endless rejections and apologetic faces of those telling him he simply needed more experience. He wished he could scoff in their faces and tell them he can’t get experience if no one is willing to take a chance on him. 

He thought he had been doing a great job of hiding his misery, but Kit still saw right through his act. 

One morning, she cornered him in the kitchen, cradling her coffee close to her chest and watching him spread peanut butter on his bagel, “What’s going on?” 

“Whatcha mean?” 

She gave him an unimpressed look.

He shrugged, “Nothing. Just feeling sorry for myself. I’ll get over it.” 

Kit hadn’t looked like she believed him, and it turned out she had a right to feel that way. As the rejections kept coming, he kept spiraling. He grew more and more angry until it began to spill into every crevice of his life. Even Harry didn’t know how to handle him and stopped coming over as much, but Kit miraculously stayed by his side even when he didn’t deserve it. 

“It’s going to be okay, Niall.” She’d say, “You’ll find the perfect job. I know it.” 

A part of him knew how lucky he was to have her so loyally beside him, but a louder part of him couldn’t find a reason to care about anything, including that. 

“You don’t know anything, Kit!” He yelled, “I’m working a fucking retail job and applying for jobs every night, and I still can’t find one! What are you doing? Bartending? Taking pictures? You don’t get it!” 

Of course he felt horrible as soon as the words left his mouth, but he couldn’t take them back no matter how badly he wanted to. 

She blinked at him and nodded once, “Right. What do I know? Let me know when you’re done being an ass and ready to be my friend again.”

She turned on her heel and disappeared into her room. 

It was hours later when Niall finally found the courage to go after her. She was lying on the bed and her back was to the door. She didn’t make any indication that she knew or cared he was in her room. He went and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“I was a dick. I’m sorry.” 

She rolled over to look at him, and he was relieved to see her smiling. “You were, but it’s a good thing I’m amazing and already forgave you.” 

He laughed, “Yeah, lucky me.” 

She grabbed his hand and pulled until he got the hint and laid down beside her. She wiggled until she was pressed against his chest, “Even if it takes you years to find a job, I know you’re going to be okay.” 

“How can you be so sure?” 

She didn’t hesitate when she said, “Because we’re in this together.” 

He held her tighter, and they stayed like that until the sun rose and saw a new day. 

Weeks later, he interviewed for a job in New York City. When they offered to fly him out to get a feel for the company and an in person interview, he was ecstatic, and he expected Kit to feel the same. 

“What?” 

She looked like he had just told her he had a terminal disease. 

“A job. In New York! Isn’t that amazing?” 

She stared at him, “And you’re thinking about taking it?” 

He didn’t understand why she wasn’t excited, “I mean, yeah…” 

“Why?” 

He reached out to grab her hand, but she pulled away from him, “Kit… It’s a job.”

“And you’re just willing to drop all your friends to move hundreds of miles away for a job you don’t even know if you’d like.” 

“Well, yeah. It’s better than staying here and working retail.” 

“But at least you’d have your people. Harry and Louis and Nat.  _ Me _ .” 

When her voice cracked, so did his heart. 

“Kit, that’s not fair.” 

“Yeah?” She spat out, “Neither is every person I care about leaving me for a better job opportunity.” 

She grabbed her purse and was out the door before he could truly comprehend what had just happened. 

He didn’t see her for two days, and when she finally came back to their apartment, she perched herself on his bed while he was working at his desk. 

She grabbed a notebook and pen from his shelf, “Tell me about this job. We’re about to make a pros and cons list.” 

“Where have you been?” 

“Later. Now, tell me about this job.” 

They locked eyes, and when she smiled at him, he couldn’t hide his own. And so, he told her everything he knew.

Nearly an hour later, she was on her back with her feet propped up against the wall and the notebook held above her. “I’m saying this as just a friend and not as the friend who doesn’t want you to move, but it doesn’t seem like you have much of a chance to move up.” 

“Yeah, but the pay–”

“–Is not worth living in New York City. The cost of living is so much higher there. You won’t be making as much as you think you’d be.” 

“I already told them I’d fly out there.” 

She rolled over on her stomach to look at him, “Okay, fine. But that isn’t signing a contract. Tell them you need time to think about it, and then give it just a little bit longer to see if another better job offer comes up.” 

He had never been good at telling her no, “Yeah, okay. I will.” 

And as if orchestrated by God himself, a week after he got back from New York, Louis called him with news of a job offering at his office. 

“You gotta apply, mate. And tell them you know me. It’s basically a done deal. I’ve talked you up so much already!” 

Later, when he was offered the job, Kit poured them both a glass of wine, “I told you something better would come along.” 

Niall rolled his eyes, “Yeah, whatever. Hope you know you’re stuck with me now.” 

She stuck out her tongue, but then smiled, “As if I’d have it any other way.” 

It was the rare night where Niall had to stay late in the office, and Kit had the night off. When he walked through the door, he wasn’t surprised to see her standing in the kitchen with her hair a mess and a glass of wine, listening to one of her sad playlists. 

She was leaning against one of their kitchen chairs with her head tilted back, and Niall doubted she heard him walk through the door. He watched as she began swaying side to side when John Mayer’s  _ Slow Dancing in a Burning Room  _ began to play. He dropped his bag and kicked his shoes off before making his way to her. 

“Are you crying?”

She lazily tilted her head to look at him, “No.” 

He gave her a look. 

“Maybe.” 

He laughed and took the wine glass from her. 

“Hey! I need that.” 

“I think you’ve had enough wine tonight, Kit-Kat.” 

She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout and Niall took her hand to pull her to him. “Why are you crying?” 

She shrugged, “It’s just such a sad song. For John Mayer. He doesn’t deserve that heartbreak.” 

He kept hold of her hand while he placed his other on her hip, “He doesn’t?” 

She shook her head, “He probably thought that whoever that song was about and him were going to get married and she just ups and cheats.” 

Niall hummed and began to dance with her, “This definitely isn’t about you or anyone we know personally.” 

“Of course not.” She rested her head against his chest, “But if it was, it wouldn’t be because I miss him.” 

“Definitely not.” They swayed from side to side, and eventually Kit placed her socked feet on top of his as they danced in their kitchen.

“But if you did miss him, it would be okay.” 

She hummed and said, “Because I have you.” 

He kissed the top of her head, “Yeah, you’ll always have me.” 

She wrapped her arms around his middle, “You’ll have me for as long as you want me.” 

“I don’t see that changing anytime soon.” He smoothed her hair down, and when the song came to an end she looked up at him with tear stained eyes. “C’mon. Let’s get you to bed.”

Kit had always believed that as long as they were together, everything would be fine. And while Niall had loved spending any and every second with her up to that point, it wasn’t until that night that he started to believe she was right. The world might collapse around them, and their lives might catch fire and burn to ash, but they’d have each other. And what is a little catastrophe and chaos when you have your favorite person in the world by your side?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this little snippet of past Nit :)


End file.
